4 out of 5 parents think it is good for children to have free time without adult supervision. But, the reality is different from the reported numbers - children remain significantly dependent on their parents until the age of 18, and sometimes even longer, until they finish college. This begs the question - why? As a society, we are programmed to shelter our young ones until they reach adulthood and marry them off where they are supported by a partner. Therefore, they achieve independence only in their late 20s or early 30s, which isn’t a desirable scenario.
We need to ensure that children become independent when they are in school. This is because they are receptive to adopting new habits and practising them when they are younger. Also, self-reliance improves character and shapes personality in the best possible way. Let us look at how we can encourage independent thinking in children.
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Household chores for growth
The first step towards independence starts right at home. Include your child in household chores as the first step and gradually, assign a few chores to them. Ensure the tasks are appropriate for your child’s age and take precautions seriously. As children start participating in these chores, they will begin to enjoy the self-reliance that comes as a result of the process.
For instance, you can ask your children to work on basic tasks such as wiping tables, putting away toys or collecting clothes to be put into the washing machine. While these may seem too simple, they will serve as a strong base for children to go about doing their tasks. You can build up on these tasks and give them relatively more advanced tasks such as making their own bed, cleaning the table, arranging their cupboards and making a simple meal with minimal interference from your side. These actions will motivate your child to look at independence more seriously. -
Embracing new Perspectives
Childhood to teenage is the right phase to sit with your children and analyse their opinions. It is also the right time to introduce them to reading, which will aid them in learning about various viewpoints on a single issue. Another way to comprehend different perspectives is by watching a wide array of videos on the subject. What happens is that children learn to appreciate multiple approaches/thought processes on an issue and get to grasp the issue in a nuanced manner. Hence, their solution for the problem is likely to be a well-rounded decision based on sound logic. Expose them to more contrasting arguments to help shape their thinking into an independent one. -
Encouraging the Joy of Writing
Inculcate the habit of writing in your child at an early age. It will work wonders in making them expressive as they grow older. This will promote clarity of thought, which will consequently, help them ponder independently and jot the same on paper. You can start with interesting prompts and eventually, introduce them to journaling, which will make a world of difference in your child’s thought process. -
Fostering Open Discussions
Refrain from getting into a didactic mode when they ask unconventional questions. Instead, pause to marvel at how their brains come up with such interesting thoughts in the first place. Engage in discussions and guide them towards multiple perspectives, so that they can make the solution they deem right. Another point to remember is that there may be situations when your child may disagree with you. Do not reprimand them for it, instead make them understand how to politely disagree while expressing their opinion. This will instil the thought that their perspective is welcome, even if it is different from others’ views. -
Learning through Mistakes
Do not shame your child for making mistakes. They learn more from failures than successes, as the former lets them attempt multiple options before finding the exact solution. Sit with them and make them understand that you still have confidence in them. This will go a long way in motivating them to continue with their tasks, thereby, promoting independent thinking.
However, do not get over-involved at the cost of disturbing your child’s space either. That will not give them the room to think on their own and solve problems. Strike the right balance between encouragement and staying away and watch your child blossom into a wonderful and confident adult, capable of making sound decisions.
Our society has forever been programmed to mollycoddle children until they become adults and then hand them over to a spouse, who is equally clueless most of the time. Therefore, prioritize making your child an independent thinker by following the above steps. In general, remember to let them make their own decisions and live through the consequences of the same. This will help them become independent thinkers when they become adults.
